I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
