come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize