I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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