Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
