nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
