I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
