i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
