I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
