also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just threw up on my dentist
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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