Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
