Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
