Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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