guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
