you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
