why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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