My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
