We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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