i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
