oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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