Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
