Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
