Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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