i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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