I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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