i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
