i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
