She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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