Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
