I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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