apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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