tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
