I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
