do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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