I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
jump out the window naked night went bad
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
