Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
