My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
