where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
