Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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