When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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