It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
