grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
