Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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