guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
