we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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