Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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