you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
