So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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