I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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