I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
