We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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