I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I cannot find my penis.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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