Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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