So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
