My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
how does that bad decision feel?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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