how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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