Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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