I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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