she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
