a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am midnight drunk by noon
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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