You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
